Application To Join the Maffia

Now, dont'cha'll go an' getta upsetta atta me, ah onlee forward 
de mail....Gadfather

                     APPLICAZIONNE TO JOINA DE MAFFIA
                     ------------- -- ----- -- ------

Whazza u name _________________________    U-Hage_______________

Whazza u howsa nummer ________________     U-Streeta____________

Whazza-U-Bag?  Hitta Man_____ Lona-Arranger_____ Prostitutta?___

Izza U Girl or Boy? (If uzza girl, Oh-Boy!)_____ Justta Checka Wun.
                              (Wiezza Guy)

Putta Downa Wearra U Worgga Now___________________________________
Wazza U Inna De Bigga Ouse? ____ For Whatzza U Inna De Bigga Ouse?
        I Shoota Wun Guize_____   I Keednappa Sumbody's___________
        Protekshun Ragget______   Udda Things_____________________

U Wanna B De Bigga Shotz, Dumdaze??  Yasse_____ No_____ Eh:_______

U Likka Eata Garlic? _________  Pizza? _________ Salami?__________

U No Ow 2 Makke De Cement Shooz? _________________________________

U Driva De Car? _______ Gadillac_______ Buick _____ Linken________

U Likka Likka Spagett?____ Galamari_____ Girlze?_____ Boyze?______
                                       (Just peeka one--no foola
                                        rounda cus I slappa U
                                        face)

U Sees De Godfather?  (Or justa de movie?)

Widda U Antry U Gonna Getta Somtink U Reely Lika..................

1 pr darke glasses                   1 lb. mozzarella cheeze
1 black shirte widda white tie       1 kiss (later, onna U cheek)
1 pr. pointie shooz                  1 wite hat, widde blacke brim
1 pr. cement shooz                   1 spumoni (tutti-frutti)
 (come later when you foolaround)    8x10 picchur-Frank Sinatra
1 Appy Face Button                   1 wallet size-Dean Martin

 Goode Stoff (Iffa U notta Sure, I Talle U Whatta U Getta, Wizaguy)

         JOINNA DE CLUB NOW WHILE YOU STILL CANNA RITE!